20. Win hearts, not battles.

(Joshua Chapter 20)

Joshua 20: Process. Time. Protection. Healing.

​Imagine a world where mistakes aren't jumped on by onlookers for sport. Where once realized, the person who made the error is offered refuge and time to learn from it. Where both protection from being drug through the mud for the misstep, and healing take place rather than perpetuating a world of revenge and hate.

​When people make mistakes, this should be the posture of our response.

(*48) Value refuge over revenge.

That is what happened in Joshua 20. Cities of refuge, along with a specific process to follow were designated and created. And if they could do this for something as serious as accidental murder (yeah, true story), I think we can offer refuge for far less serious things.

Refuge, by its very nature, creates an environment for the process of healing to take place. For hearts to be heard over time. For intent to be shared. For everyone, at every turn to gain wisdom and understanding instead of launching character-attacking campaigns because we had a bad day. Is that always easy? No. Especially when you are on the receiving end of someone's hurt. But, there isn't a single one of us who haven't been the one who said, or did, something that hurt someone else because we were being petty.

What is the alternative?

Revenge.

We take someone's worst moment, and act like that is their total nature as a person. We know it isn't, but we pile on anyway. We turn other peoples ears to listen to our venting, and ultimately say whatever we need to to earn votes for Mayor of "I'll-Show-Em'-Town!". We conjure up ways for them to "feel what I felt" and act like we have a right to drag their name through the mud.

Funny thing about mud-bogging. No one comes out clean in the end.

(*49) Character isn't meant to be weaponized. No one wins when we do.

Joshua 20 is a reminder to commit to a life of forgiveness and humility. Of kindness. Of friendship standing the test of time, not becoming something we walk away from because we can't make the time. Hearing people out. Agreeing to disagree on a topic, so we can place a higher value on our relationships.

How many people have fractured relationships because of their need to win an argument? We dig our heels in prove we are right, not realizing that both sides are standing on quick sand. No one wins when opinions divide hearts.

Have a conversation.
​Seek to gain understanding.
Maybe even be ok that your mind could change.
See the person you are talking to as a partner in understanding, rather than a enemy on a battlefield you need to be able to fend off, and tell others you were victorious over.

Set down the weapons of hurt, judgement, bitterness and anger.
Win hearts, not battles.
​See others as Christ sees them, not how your pride has experienced them.
Life is too short not to offer fresh starts.

And yes, sometimes the fresh start just means forgiveness, and moving on. I'm not saying you have to be their best friend. I don't know your journey, and it would be disingenuous for me to infer differently. I believe we can experience the joy found in healing in many different ways. This chapter isn't meant as a relationship prescription, rather an encouragement to seek healing as a direction.

PERSPECTIVE POINTS
(*48) Value refuge over revenge.
(*49) Character isn't meant to be weaponized. No one wins when we do.

Reflection Questions...

48. Who can you offer refuge to that you've been wanting revenge over? How can you create an environment for conversation over time to replace the mindset of getting even? What can you bring to the table as a show of humility and desire to understanding where they are coming from? Can you suspend judgement long enough to hear with your heart, not just react with your emotional gut?

​49. Is there someone in your life, whose character you've attacked, over a misunderstanding? If you answered no to that...Is it possible that what you are mad at, you had a hand in creating? Would you commit to praying Psalm 139:24?

Psalm 139:24
"See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."